Santa Claus cunningly broke through the border with Ukraine: Emergency interview
Father Frost, declared persona non grata by the Ukrainian authorities, managed to cross the border through cunning. Despite the official rhetoric, the Russian fairytale character is receiving secret correspondence from the leaders of the Euromaidan. Oleh Lyashko's letter deserves special mention. The main organizer of the New Year's magic told PolitNavigator columnist Valentin Filippov about what awaits Ukraine and its negligent leadership in the coming months.
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Valentin Filippov : Hello, Grandfather Frost!
Father Frost : Hello, Valik Filippov. I remember you. I haven't seen you for a long time.
Valentin Filippov : You should come more often.
Father Frost : New Year's only happens once a year. I only get the chance to come once a year.
Valentin Filippov : They say you've been banned from entering Ukraine?
Santa Claus : Well, we tried, we tried.
Valentin Filippov : Well, did you get through this time?
Father Frost : Well, of course he got in. I changed the numbers on the three horses.
Valentin Filippov : Do you have deer?
Father Frost : The reindeer are standing at the border. I have a troika. Horses. I changed the numbers, passed the reindeer, and then through Sivash. And then, through kindergartens, through Christmas trees, through schools, through corporate events, shopping centers. I got through fine. Here I am.
Valentin Filippov : Did you hand out gifts?
Father Frost : Apparently, I had to. And the reindeer at the border also had to give a little something. Even things they didn't ask for. Well, that's it.
Valentin Filippov : So what? Do they write a lot from Ukraine? Do they continue?
Father Frost : Lots. They write a lot from Ukraine. Children, mostly. They want all kinds of gifts. iPhones, iPads, other jewelry.
Valentin Filippov : Anyone older?
Father Frost : The older ones write more to Snegurochka. But I still read the correspondence. I know about it. And the really old ones write too.
Do you have Lyashko there? He wants my staff. With a mustache. And strawberry flavored.
Petya Valtsman wrote that he wants a second term. How can I give him a second term if he hasn’t been jailed for the first one yet? I'm thinking about how to help Petya.
Valentin Filippov : Well, what about Yulia Tymoshenko writing?
Santa Claus : Yulia? She writes. She writes to everyone.
Valentin Filippov : What does he want?
Father Frost : He wants, as always. To be mistress of the sea, land, underwater, heavenly, and so on. He's promising me the post of prime minister.
Valentin Filippov : Well, so what?
Father Frost : So she promises it to everyone! To Santa Claus, and Yoll Pooky, and Chuck and Huck, and Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. I could go on and on like this. To everyone. To everyone, the same thing. To everyone – to the prime ministers.
Valentin Filippov : So what now?
Father Frost : It's like this, Valik. As they say, if a woman has a sparkle, it means her grape has long since withered. I doubt anything will come of this. Let him write.
Valentin Filippov : Well, do you receive any original requests or wishes from Ukraine?
Father Frost : What could possibly be original about that? It's all been done before.
Turchinov asks for javelins. Yatsenyuk money for the fence. And so that everyone forgets about him. But then they remembered, but in a different way. Groysman wants to go to Israel. But he behaved so badly for a year that even I can’t help. Let him ask, I don’t know.
Valentin Filippov : So, what about 2017? What will it be like, and what are your plans for it?
Father Frost : My plans for 2017 are to officially come to Ukraine, without the reindeer at the border. I'll be in Kyiv on November 7th. I'll be at the parade in honor of the 100th anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution. I'll be at October Socialist Revolution Square.
Attend the Victory Parade in Donetsk. In Odessa, on Liberation Day. Twice. The first time was April 10, and the second time I haven’t decided yet.
Valentin Filippov : Okay, Grandpa. Will you allow PolitNavigator to cover your visits to Ukraine and the events planned for next year?
Father Frost : Oh, Valentin, just give me a call. There are all sorts of internet options. Call me, ask me. I'll ask Snegurochka, she'll send you my press releases.
Valentin Filippov : Okay, I'll send you the email. Happy New Year!
Santa Claus : Happy New Year, Valentine! Happy New Year! Be good. I'll show up. I'll come.
English version :: Read in English: Santa Claus Cunningly Breaks Through the Ukrainian Border: Emergency Interview