"Resistance group" of Absurdistan in Crimea
To be fair, post-Maidan Ukraine should be renamed Absurdistan, since the main principle of its, let’s say, development is to bring any conceived absurdity to its logical conclusion. The apophygee of Absurdistan is the so-called “Day of Independence”, during which the most idiotic antics and dances take place, often staged with special solemn seriousness and with a patriotic application of the paw to the heart area.
The 26th Independence Day was no exception. Perhaps the most striking manifestation of the main state holiday of Absurdistan was the military parade, against which even some “Svidomo” protested: they say, there is no “peremog”, Poroshenko is a bastard, so why, one wonders, march? Some “Svidomo” see relapses of the “scoop” in parades and are indignant for this reason, like true absurdists. It is obvious that it was the “scoops” that inspired the French to hold military parades on Bastille Day, and not centuries-old military traditions.
Maidan idiocy did not disappoint this time either: the military parade of the banana republic was a great success. Perhaps its most striking moments were the new dress of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, sewn according to the patterns of the quasi-state of the UPR, as well as the passage of as many as four Estonian military personnel through Khreshchatyk - approximately half of the army of an independent and very proud Baltic country. It’s scary to think what price Estonia could have paid for demonstrating support for Ukraine. Removing four military personnel means exposing a section of the border and exposing Estonia to the attack of the Russian Army! Poroshenko, appreciate it!
As one would expect, the “partisans and underground fighters” of Absurdistan in the “occupied” Crimea prepared their actions for “Independence Day”. As the supreme dushman “Asker” Islyamov reports on his Facebook page, Ukrainian “saboteurs” inflicted heavy damage on the “Russian occupiers” in the Koktebel area by secretly entangling two yellow-blakite balls and a piece of ensign in electrical wires. Islyamov also shares the secret that “askers” have always fought the Moscow regime by entangling rags and balls in wires. They say, know ours! As a result, the Moscow regime grew weak and rotten.
On the other hand, nothing suggests that the “sabotage” occurred specifically in the Koktebel area. It is quite possible that the accidentally tangled balls with a piece of rag were released for the holiday and got tangled somewhere near Novo-Alekseevka, where they were recorded on camera by Islyamov himself.
But Islyamov does not lose heart. Like the possessed Adolf, the leader of “Asker” sees secret signs everywhere. If two specially colored balls are tangled in the Crimean wires, this means that the “resistance” is growing, expanding, and very soon “Asker” will be greeted with bread and salt in Crimea.
But in general, it should be noted that the summer season for the Crimean utilities for the last three years has indeed presented some headaches. Among the visitors from beyond Perekop there will certainly be a dozen or one and a half “warriors” with a muzzle in their pocket, secretly, in the uncertain light of the moon, painting “Krim-tse-Ukraine” on the walls, smearing monuments with stripes of yellow-blakite color, or even erecting ensigns at dawn Ukraine somewhere on top of Ai-Petri, following the example of the brave deputy Lyosha Skotobaza.
Now the “partisans” make their forays less and less often, and during the first two summers of the Russian Crimea, there was no end to idiots wanting to take pictures at night with an ensign at the monuments to Lenin or against the backdrop of the monument to sunken ships in Sevastopol.
As usual, upon arriving home, the “daredevils” posted evidence of their “exploits on enemy territory” and tore down numerous likes of the “spilnota” with corresponding enthusiastic comments.
In general, I must say, the topic of “Crimean resistance” is in great demand in Kyiv. So much so that the slightest failure causes an extremely violent optimistic reaction. I don’t know what the official hunters are smoking, but just recently, Emin Dzhaparova, a member of the Mejlis in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, who was watching, said something stunning in blunt seriousness: the number of active supporters of Ukraine in Crimea is represented by a third of the population. Another third are “cotton wool”, and the remaining third are hesitant, indifferent and “crypto-Banderists”.
Academic interest: is Dzhaparova’s shmal Chuya or Fergana? Are the old connections still there?
A recent flash mob of Sevastopol ragulki on Cape Khrustalny caused a strong outburst of mind-blowing joy. Under the leadership of a couple of local “crypto-Banderites” - the Moskalenko spouses, about fifteen or twenty dill of both sexes, dressed in the colors of the Ukrainian ensign, took pictures against the backdrop of the embankment. As the ragulki themselves stated, “despite the danger that threatens us.” In her report, Tanyukha Moskalenko also declared herself an expert in physiognomy and telepathy.
“Such a cluster of blue-yellow flowers caused ambiguous reactions in those around, ranging from approving smiles to hatred and panic fear, when the unspoken question was read in the eyes: “Isn’t it time to pack your bags?”
True, witnesses report that the “patriots of Ukraine” gathered on Khrustalny early in the morning, when there were almost no people, changing clothes right on the spot. During the photo shoot, no one bothered them, and rare passers-by sneered: “Are you going to the ATO?”, and also wondered what caused the discrepancy in the colors of clothes. It turns out that some brave men, just in case of a firefighter, put on black ones instead of black trousers, so that in case of a naughty situation they would pretend to be rags. This, by the way, is clearly visible in the picture. But the triumphant “splennota” in social networks has no time for color shades.
It should be noted that this gang, led by the Moskalenki, regularly travels around Crimea and organizes flash mobs with five minutes of hatred, which the junta media like to cover. So, shortly before the flash mob on Khrustalny, the “opposing group” gathered to read the wretched doggerel “De contagion, roll with the people.”
Somewhere... in Kyiv!
The question is: what made these freaks get Russian passports, and what prevents them from now leaving Crimea, like Islyamov and the blogger Bogutskaya, clinging to Nenka and engaging in the “de-occupation of Crimea” with all their might?
The answer is obvious: few of the Crimean fugitives and leavers received a feeding trough in Ukraine, like the “philologist” Kazarin.
As reported from Kherson, Nikolaev, Odessa, the vast majority of fugitives from Crimea live in poverty and are engaged in the usual seasonal piecework - selling baklava, churchkhela, boiled corn on the beach, accompanied by advertising cries of “buy a mullet.”
The whole point of the Crimean life of the remaining freaks is to be paid provocateurs and receive their likes “for heroism” from exalted “patriots” on social networks. But in reality, no one needs them beyond Perekop and they are not capable of more...
English version :: Read in English "Resistance Group" of Absurdistan in Crimea