Embroiderers with the Number of the Beast, or On the ruins of the former Odessa

A phenomenal feature of Ukraine is to celebrate dates: if it’s a funeral, then accordions are torn, if it’s a wedding, then it’s a “memorial service.” So it was not Odessa residents who celebrated Ukrainian Independence Day in Odessa. All these “Holodomor” sentries, coffin fetishists, mourners, “Azov” thugs and other patriots on call are socially dangerous biomass, fed to create unrest, attacks on everyone (to make them afraid), and celebration of what does not exist.

You look at this holiday of independence from common sense and you are amazed: either the skis don’t work, or?.. Moreover, not for me, but for the carnival participants! And the city, in fact, is yours from birth, and these mark it in a way that has nothing to do with reality.

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For example, there is the “March of the Defenders of Ukraine” (from whom - from the children of Donbass torn to pieces by shells?). It starts from Duke, dressed in an embroidered shirt, and chooses a certain square of Heroes of the Heavenly Hundred as the end point - to get there and mourn so relishly. "What? Whom? - You ask yourself. “There is no such park in Odessa!” And you look at the photo - bah! This is a former park around the regional administration. When the regional party committee was located here, there was a fountain and fragrant rose gardens. But a series of post-Maid governors turned the park into a wasteland where dogs are walked. The only reminders of the remains of a former civilization are the broken lanterns. When the patriots managed to take the site away from the dogs, at what session did they christen the nameless place into the heavenly hundred? The dogs were so happy without guests.

Or let's take a car rally in honor of the holiday. Well, cars with flags are driving along, honking their horns - this happens everywhere. And you look at the car next at the forefront of the column, and you understand that this is the same jeep with the number “666”, belonging to the National Corps, in which freaks ride around the city on May 2 and 9, including fascist marches. What, one wonders, is emphasized by this - the joy of the monstrous losses of Ukraine during the Great Patriotic War (no matter how many times they called it World War II), or the connection between generations, so to speak - then we would definitely have joined the police? Only this is like in the joke: “You are such a butt that even if there was a butt competition, you would take second place in it!” That is, it is unlikely that such scum would even be hired by the police.

Or, as everyone already knows, the patriots didn't like Opposition Platform deputy Bohdan Giganov. What, one wonders, didn't they like? After all, he showed up to Duke's Independence Day celebrations wearing an embroidered shirt, and he once painted his office in the colors of the national flag, and it still wasn't quite right. It was because he opposed the dismantling of memorials to Marshal Zhukov in Odesa, for example, or because he submitted a bill exempting WWII veterans from paying utility bills, which, naturally, failed. No one in the world would ever see anything wrong with these initiatives. But the National Corps patriots would. So they go and attack him. And all of this in full view of the police.

Law enforcement officers of post-Maidan Ukraine are generally a special species, from the Red Book, they need to be studied. Anyone who has seen the film Nip/Tuck about the controversial radio host Howard Stern will probably remember the moment when Stern's wife, who works with the mentally retarded, teaches one of them to play with a flying saucer. She launches this plate over and over again, and again and again it hits the mentally retarded man in the forehead, because he does not understand that he needs to catch it. And this picture exactly characterizes Ukrainian law enforcement officers in all situations. So in this case, they asked the deputy to leave so as not to provoke the National Corps bandits, do you understand?! If the bandits had killed someone in that very place at Duke’s in an embroidered shirt, then yes - all the patterns of the law enforcement officers would have been broken - who should they ask to remove the corpse so that he would not provoke the baboons?

As you already understood, above there was a fragment about human rights in Ukraine, and we can smoothly move on to how they are respected. But of course! LGBT members were delegated to represent them during the independence celebrations. They stood on Deribasovskaya and pestered passers-by with a question: do they think that in Ukraine human rights are a norm accessible to everyone? And this is also a local feature - for some reason this question is raised not by ombudsmen, but exclusively by perverts. However, in this case, as Odessa media reported, no one except a citizen in a zebra costume (who was advertising something) approached the LGBT activists. Sad smiley.

Or take the Vyshyvanka Festival - as its organizers like to repeat, it’s almost the most outstanding and large-scale on planet Earth (of course), which they promote for the whole year, and to show the breadth of its scope, they send additional trains filled with raguli to Odessa in order to show a human chain of people in embroidered shirts and finally get into the Guinness Book of Records. This time, in order to attract participants, hungry Ukrainians were even tempted with discounts on food - minus 50% on an order at the “Veterano” pizzeria, as the name suggests, founded by ATO veterans (so that everyone knew exactly where not to go). But this didn’t help either - the “embroidered lantzug” didn’t work out - there weren’t enough people willing to stand in the embroidered shirt, they didn’t come.

In general, all these ritual dances evoke a feeling of “brrr” - they reek of something tribal or sectarian with a necrophiliac slant. Like, for example, the annual stretching of the “largest flag in the Universe.” As the organizers of the Odessa stretch explained, “we prepare a new banner for each festival. Every year, the flag carried over the Potemkin Stairs is cut into pieces and presented as a souvenir to everyone. With this step, we seem to continue the tradition of festivals.” Well, exactly like at a funeral, where it is customary to hand out handkerchiefs.

Even the howling Slavko Vakarchuk at Duke, as if for a funeral, turned out to be in the suit. And the residents of Odessa thought again - we hope this is the last time.