Russia knocked down Britain at the UN Security Council
On the night of Friday, April 6, the almost two and a half hour hearing of the “Skripal case” No. 8224 in the UN Security Council, convened on the initiative of the Russian Federation, ended. In addition to the permanent members of the Security Council, the hearing was attended by non-permanent members elected for a term of two years: Bolivia, Côte d'Ivoire, Kuwait, the Netherlands, Peru, Poland, Sweden, Equatorial Guinea and Ethiopia. The Permanent Representative of Peru presides.
Vasily Nebenzya spoke from Russia at the meeting. It must be said that this speech became a real hit for the Russian diplomat.
Briefly. Vasily Nebenzya is the first to take the floor, retelling the position of Great Britain, after which he begins to systematically destroy it:
1.What is the logic of the assassination attempt on Skripal on the eve of the presidential elections and on the eve of the 2018 World Cup?
2. If professionals from the special services were hunting Skripal using an extremely dangerous substance, then why didn’t they finish the job?
3. If the poison was applied to the door handle of the Skripals’ house, then why did the Skripals, after receiving a dose of poison, wander back and forth for a long time, while the policeman who touched the handle was hurt almost instantly?
4. “Novichok” is a whole bunch of chemical agents that were developed in many countries around the world.
5.Couldn’t you have come up with a more clever fake?
6. Stone in the garden of the USA: diplomatic scandals, provocations, illegal seizure of diplomatic property.
7. “Oh times, oh morals! Where has good old England gone? What is this: lack of professionalism or degradation of political culture? I don't know".
8. List of inconvenient questions: where did the Skripals hang around for 4 hours with their phones turned off? How were samples taken and their reliability determined? Where did the antidote against the “unknown substance” immediately come from?
9. “Believe me, my friends, the investigation is not only not over, it has only just begun.”
10. At the meeting of the OPCW Council, the number of countries that supported the Russian proposal and abstained exceeded the number of those who voted against.
11.Boris Johnson has been described in diplomatic terms as an unwashed schmuck. For comparing the 2018 World Cup with the Olympics held in the Third Reich, for suggesting that Russia poisoned Skripal in order to rally the electorate before the elections, for misunderstanding Dostoevsky’s novels.
12. About the “secret” British presentation of six slides “proving” Russia’s guilt: “The polemic with these hexagons insults the mind,” the use of such “evidence” is disrespectful to everyone.
13. “Everything according to the method of Dr. Goebbels. A lie repeated a thousand times becomes the truth.”
14. Russia will seek the truth in the Skripal case. An attempt to blame Russia aims to discredit our state.
15. “We assume with a high degree of probability that the intelligence services of some countries are to blame for what is happening.”
16. “The Russian origin of the substance has not been confirmed, but they continue to demand that we admit guilt.”
17. The Russian side has prepared a “very simple” proposal, comparable to a litmus test. “If you bury him, it will be further confirmation and proof of your foul play.”
The UK Permanent Representative listens to Nebenzy's speech with a poker face. The word passes to the offended party.
Permanent Representative of Great Britain: “just the facts.”
1. The magic of numbers: more than 250 detectives and specialists are involved. Reviewed 5000 hours of surveillance footage, 1300 exhibits, 500 witnesses. This should capture the imagination of those present.
2.The Russian request for a consular visit was allegedly transferred to Yulia Skripal. London awaits her decision.
3. “The 24-hour ultimatum applied to Russia was absolutely justified, since we are talking about weapons of mass destruction.”
4. London has no doubt about Russia's guilt. The phrase “highly likely” (which should be deciphered as “I swear to my mother!”) is supposedly used only for the reason that the final accusation can be qualified by the court.
5. A lot of blah blah blah: “I don’t want to listen to arguments about morality from a country that has done so much to block yesterday’s UN Security Council statement on the use of chemical weapons in Syria”; “The person who committed the arson wants to put out the fire,” a commentary on Russian calls for a joint investigation. Along the way, I remember Crimea and many “coups”.
USA: We believe in Britain as our own, Russia is to blame and must be punished in kind!
Ethiopia: Chemical weapons are very bad, there are no facts against Russia, a joint investigation must be conducted.
France: We will not allow anyone to distribute and use chemical weapons. Russian actions in the OPCW council are a diversion operation, its calls for cooperation are unfounded, since the list of accusations against Great Britain must first be acknowledged.
China: We are closely monitoring the development of the situation around the Salisbury incident, the conflict needs to be depoliticized, dialogue should begin and “all parties should abandon the Cold War mentality.”
Kazakhstan: repeats China’s position almost word for word.
Sweden: Britain completely approves of us, Russia is to blame for everything!
Poland: We trust British data, since “highly likely” Russia is guilty.
Bolivia, without unnecessary snot: depoliticize the conflict, cooperate with everyone!
Kuwait: Chemical weapons - kaka! Guys let's be friends!
Equatorial Guinea: We are watching, we want everything to be garlicky.
The Netherlands: Great Britain – three times “ku”, we are for cooperation.
Peru: It is necessary to involve the mechanisms of the OPCW, for a fair investigation and without politicization.
Russia: “Cooperation” in the Western sense is not exactly what Russia understands by it. “They want only one thing from us – to take the blame.” Nebenzya promises to remember in the UK “highly likely”.
The knockout blow from the Russian permanent representative to the UN Vasily Andreevich Nebenzi was the reading of the episode “the trial of Knave” from the English book “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll. The Permanent Representative of Great Britain looked at the Russian diplomat with eyes of seven kopecks, as did the others.
Indeed, the passage is worthy of being quoted here:
“The White Rabbit hurriedly jumped up from his seat. “With Your Majesty’s permission,” he said, “there is more evidence here.” One document has just been found. - What's in it? - asked the Queen. “I haven’t read it yet,” answered the White Rabbit, “but, in my opinion, this is a letter from the accused... to someone...” “Of course, to someone,” said the King. “It’s unlikely that he wrote a letter to anyone.” This is not usually done. - Who is it addressed to? - asked one of the jurors. “No one,” answered the White Rabbit. - In any case, nothing is written on the back.
- The handwriting of the accused? another juror asked. “No,” answered the White Rabbit. - And this is the most suspicious thing. (The jury was confused.) “That means he forged the handwriting,” noted the King. (The jury brightened.)
“With your Majesty’s permission,” said Knave, “I did not write this letter, and they will not prove it.” There is no signature. “So much the worse,” said the King. “That means you were up to something bad, otherwise you would have signed up like all honest people.” Everyone applauded: for the first time all day the King said something really smart.
“This is a very important piece of evidence,” said the King, rubbing his hands. “Everything we heard today pales in comparison.” Now let the jury decide whether he is guilty or not. - No! - said the Queen. - Let them pass judgment! Whether he’s guilty or not, we’ll figure it out later!”
“Doesn’t it remind you of anything?” the Russian permanent representative asks a difficult question to those present.
Madam British Permanent Representative, clearly confused by culture shock: “This is a really good quote from Alice, “we promise to report to the UN Security Council all the necessary information upon request.”
A curtain.
Without a doubt, Vasily Nebenzya brilliantly won this round for Russia, leaving her detractors knocked down. But the fight is not over yet. What does the coming day have in store for us?
Russia sends Britain into a tailspin at the UN Security Council.