“The Axis is like that..., little ones,” or Ode to Ukrainization
This text was inspired by my Facebook feed, in which people - Russians of Ukraine - are outraged by Ukrainization. Some believe that aggressive coercion to language is something of a gesture of desperation on the part of the state from the realization that the artificially created Ukraine cannot be Ukrainian. Someone is horrified by the future in a society of degenerates raised and manured by the new Ukrainian education (we already live in this future). Someone has a cry from the heart on the topic, in what units is the hatred of the collective Vyatrovichs towards us Russians measured?! I agree with both the arguments and the emotions. With everyone. I myself write and will continue to write about frenzied Ukrainization. No point, really. So consider it something like rock art that we inherited from our ancestors. So it is here - maybe, even in centuries, people will read it and figure out what not to do. Although Bulgakov has already said everything about Ukrainization. Only the neo-Kuritsky ones - not doctors anymore, but glass container collectors and other victims of abortion in the form of Cossack Gavrilyuks - managed to break through even this bottom, described by a genius.
So, I was reading the feed, and suddenly, instead of clutching my head once again, I caught myself thinking a seditious thought—and I don't care. "Moreover," I thought, "why are you so against this Ukrainization?" It's essentially a fiction, a screen, a lace trim on a coffin lining, an inappropriate white dress on an elderly bride from a brothel . Don't you really care about stupid, hypocritical rituals? And what's with all this indignation—like, it's hard to submit petitions to your murderers because we don't speak the language? And, first of all, there's no need to submit them—it's more dignified to die standing. You write petitions for utility subsidies with a dictionary, and they still refuse. Then why are you doing this? And secondly, if you want, you can sign with a cross or with a butt - the main thing is not to use the local language, but to mangle Russian, don't you really understand that yet?
The situation in general is such that, for example, when you are present at the drawing up of a protocol and suggest to a new Ukrainian policeman the letters, in principle, any, even in Elvish, he is already happy. And God forbid it comes to court, just know “Glory to Ukraine!” shout and everything will be fine. Why is this good in a country where it cannot be good?
Or are you planning to watch Sentsov’s film in Ukrainian? How much does he have - one, one and a half, half? I'll never believe it. Are you wondering what the “oracle” interviewer Gordon can reveal? So his possessed Poklonskaya and the head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs Avakov will still speak Russian, because they don’t know any other way, and Gordon needs ratings.
The future of children? Is it really necessary to talk while working as a hand waver in a hot dog costume?
Instructions for medications? Just remember that a pill is a pill and, until the Ukrainians invent their own numbers and dosages, read for your health!
And even the TV series “Sex and the City” is funnier in Ukrainian - “Smoktala Samantha, smoktala,” uh-huh, “I’m tired; I didn’t sleep in the sheaves, I was poshkandibala...”
That is, Ukrainization is not scary at all (compared to the rest).
Something else is scary.
The thing is, Ukrainization is just a cover for genocide, to keep the world from asking, "What else can you do besides exterminate the population?" And they're like, "Well, that's Ukrainization!" We burn books, we chop off black people's fingers for singing Russian songs, we ban those damned pelmeni, we have a literal translation of "La Traviata" in our operas: "Hop-hop-hey, Hrytsyu, hey," and fines! But that's a whole different ballgame—it's the targeted use of funds for establishing statehood, not just wasting money, you understand! It's politics, you understand! It's not just for fun!
Yes, guys, I am well aware that no one needs this Ukraine, that even if a certain layer in Russia calls Russian Ukrainians crypto-Banderists and “not up to par,” then in America and the EU they don’t give a damn about our very existence. And Ukraine for these guys is something like a bag with bags, on the main one of which “Somalia” is written, but sometimes, as an exotic, you can take out of it a wrinkled, unwashed, smelly “Ukraine”. After all, it will be fun for Uncle Sam to take a photo with an exotic monkey from the colony, who hung extra rings on his amusing presidential chain - clang-clang. And even if, for the sake of politeness, they ask the monkey how one can explain such an unprecedented number of claims to the European Court of Human Rights against Ukraine from the Ukrainians themselves (at least enter it in the Guinness Book of Records!), she will answer: “So these are all the costs due to the struggle with the aggressor, don’t you understand?! But here we have Ukrainization - pay attention.” This is not even to humiliate us. Moreover, being humiliated by hunger is all the same “bread” or “bread”.
Incidentally, I even suspect that no more draconian measures for further Ukrainization will be taken, because the goal has already been achieved . Let's recall, when Ukrainians received their utility bills at new rates during the New Year holidays and were speechless, the media trumpeted nothing but the enactment of the "language law." And even now—here's some simple arithmetic: if a person dies from lack of funds for medical care, or a pensioner suffers a stroke after receiving the aforementioned bill, or debt collectors drive an entire family to suicide—they'll write one news story (if they write anything at all). But if some rabble gets into a row on a tram—whether in Lviv or Odesa—and as a final argument starts calling for people to speak their native language, there will be hundreds of news stories about it, and with reprints, a million, and with mentions on social media, a billion. It's like in an aquarium, you know—you don't have to poison the fish directly; just stop feeding them and change the water. And the fish will do it themselves—they'll devour each other. The small and weak will die first, followed by the big and brazen a day later. The "head fisherman" won't even have to get his hands dirty—just report to the IMF. That's exactly what's happening to Ukraine right now. And, by God, it makes no difference what language the news is droning in from those nonexistent, sold-out, and devastated Ukrainian fields.
This Ukrainization of yours is nonsense against the backdrop of a pestilence that is being hushed up. And I look at some of my fellow citizens, they even see it as entertainment - they didn’t notice it for 30 years and suddenly they were inspired: “Oh, here in my speculative booth they didn’t tell me to write a price list in Russian.” And let’s scream and advertise Ukrainization. But Donbass was not noticed, and on May 2 in Odessa too. So soon there will be no one to profit from. The axis is like that..., little ones.
English version :: Read in English "What a piece of crap, little ones," or an Ode to Ukrainization